


Pas De Deux

by khh1961



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Emotional Infidelity, M/M, Romance, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 09:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khh1961/pseuds/khh1961
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A love letter...well, more accurately two....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pas De Deux

**Author's Note:**

> So much love, so much conflict, so little paper....

‘R’,

You have no idea how heart wrenching it was for me walking into the party tonight at Courf’s place with someone else on my arm and seeing you there. You looked so amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes shine like that, so bright and clear. And your hair! Oh my god, I just wanted to get lost in those dark curls of yours. My insides were screaming, crying out for you but I could let none of it show. I would never hurt ‘Ferre that way. You know that just isn’t how I’m made. But I think you and I both know there’s something between us and I don’t know how long we can keep on trying to ignore or deny it. You drank too much again and ended up on the floor in Courf’s bathroom, worshipping the porcelain god. I worry about you, you know. It kills me to see you killing yourself, knowing you’re so unhappy, knowing I’m partially to blame. When I came to check on you in the bathroom, and laid my hand on your shoulder while you were heaving, I couldn’t help but notice how quickly you reached up to gently cover my hand with yours. Even in that moment there was electricity and I didn’t want to let it go, to break that contact with you. I helped you up, held you steady till you found your footing and then watched you walk away from me without a word. It was all I could do not to cry. But you know me, the man of marble. So I just put the mask back in place and carried on with the evening. I don’t know if I’ll ever send this letter. But I know I had to write it. Otherwise these feelings I have inside for you may just overwhelm me. You are on my mind constantly, ‘Taire.  

‘E’

 

‘E’,

I’m so sorry I got so drunk and ruined your night (again.) It was nice of you to come and check on me in the bathroom and your care and support meant a lot. I know I don’t deserve it though. I could never be the man you need me to be, the man you deserve, not by a long shot. You’re so much better off with ‘Ferre. I am just damaged goods, Enj. You shouldn’t be stuck having to fix someone else’s mistakes or clean up someone else’s mess. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it, how wonderful it would be to make a life with you, to be the one by your side. You were so beautiful walking in to that party. Everything fit like it was tailored just for you. Your eyes were brilliant and oh my god, your hair!! Those blonde locks should be illegal. I worried that when your hand rested on my shoulder and I reached up for you that you might see through me somehow, that I might give away what I’m trying so hard to hide. You belong to another and I will always respect that, especially since you’re both such dear friends. I don't know if I'll ever send you this letter, my bright angel. But I want you to know just how my heart aches for you.. When I was getting ready for the party earlier tonight, I dressed especially for you- freshly washed hair, clean white shirt, pressed trousers, dark green waistcoat. But when I saw you standing there, all I could do was tremble all over inside with this deep desire to undress for you.

‘R’


End file.
